You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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