GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
