He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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