i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
