O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
