All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
