At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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