I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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