Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize