she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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