Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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