break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think I am morally bankrupt
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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