ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Did you just see the Batmobile???
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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