I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
