It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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