you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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