we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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