i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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