i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
