What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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