talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
