We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i now understand why vodka
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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