I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
