hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
