I need help removing her.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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