Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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