why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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