chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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