dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
