i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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