I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm both gender and math confused
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
