You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
