I hate your face
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
