dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
do nipples grow back?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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