So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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