Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
