This girl is more easily done than said...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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