She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
