omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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