Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
