I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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