Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
