guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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