I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
