My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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