We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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