your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
