Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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