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3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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