your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize