i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Come on in and take your pants off
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