Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize