So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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