Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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