Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
