So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
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all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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