hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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