So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Oh god it's open bar.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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