are you still at the devil's house?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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