her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
