love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
love makes seman taste better
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
