my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
