I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
