Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize