Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
