Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize